Okay. I went to the gym today and knew that I needed to work on getting my act together. Little did I know that it is worse than I thought. I weighed in to see where I was so I would have a "starting" point again. I hit the 300 pound mark again. Yes, you are reading right. I am VERY DISAPPOINTED!!!! That doesn't mean that I am stopping. I have done pretty well today and will go back to the one meal at a time. That is all I can do on my end. I need to really take time to pray about all of this and turn it over to God again. I have fought Him and used the excuse that it was the holidays so I could be bad. Well, the holidays are over. No more excuses.
Can I ask two favors of you though? Can you first and foremost pray for this situation? I know that you have been and I am so thankful for that but I really need it more than ever right now. Mentally, today, I am ready to tackle this again with God's help. Secondly, please don't give me any excuses for my eating. What I need is people telling me the truth. I know that people struggle. There is no way that we can't, we are human but that doesn't give me an excuse to eat poorly all the time. Yes, occasionally but when I complain or feel mad about my choices everyone tells me that you have to "cheat" every once in awhile, well, unfortunatly I am getting that all the time. My "every once in awhile" is turning out to be WAY TO FREQUENTLY. I know that everyone is trying to be encouraging and I am so thankful for all of that but knowing my personality, I know that is not the best thing. PLEASE DON'T STOP ENCOURAGING. But don't give me an excuse that I can use to eat poorly.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for the special people you have brought into my life. It has been so amazing and I know that when they tell me something about every one making mistakes and needing to "cheat" that they are trying to encourage and help me not feel bad about myself but you know my heart and my head and you know that I will use that as an excuse to continue to "cheat" and do it even more. Lord, thank you for taking me back up in weight so that I can see what my choices are doing. You have brought me too far for me to stop now and I know that with your help I can continue this journey you have me on. You have something special planned and for that I am so excited. Please help me to do this journy for Your honor and glory and to be healthy.
In Jesus' Name,
Karen
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
You gotta love answered prayers
I don't want to go into a lot of details about this answered prayer but I just wanted to let you know that God has already answered a prayer from my previous post. Let's just say it brought happy tears to my eyes and has nothing to do with bringing a guy into my life. (Though I am going to a law office party in a few minutes. Who knows...)
Anyway,
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for another answered prayer and an opportunity to talk to the person about it. Even when I doubt and complain you are still answering them anyway. In Jesus' Name, Amen
God bless,
Karen
Anyway,
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for another answered prayer and an opportunity to talk to the person about it. Even when I doubt and complain you are still answering them anyway. In Jesus' Name, Amen
God bless,
Karen
The Thought of Happiness
HAPPY–adjective
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land.
4. apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.
5. obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.
So, wonder why I have placed that above description for all to read? Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this subject. Last night when I went to the gym I didn't want to be there, I had gone home, fed the cats, stopped and got a quick bite to eat, stopped at a clothing store and bought an outfit (which I couldn't afford but needed) so I felt guilty by the time I got to the gym. Then I had tried to call mom a couple of times and she didn't answer so I was afraid her phone didn't work again and headed over there. So, by the time I got back to the gym I was in a bad mood AGAIN. Craig asked me how I was doing and I told him I was grumpy.
It hit me then that I am around a lot of people throughout my day who are in a bad mood or who have a negative outlook on things and I let that affect me. I am so tired of being in a bad or grumpy mood all the time. I constantly wonder what is wrong with me that God hasn't brought someone into my life. Then I realize that having a constant negative and bad attitude makes me not want to be around certain people so who would want to be around me in that state of mind? I don't even want to be around me a lot of times.
I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends and love everyone of them but I go home lonely and sad everynight. I talk on the phone all day at work so I tell people I don't like to talk on the phone. If I go out to dinner I don't invite anyone because I want to read my book. I don't keep my house as clean as I should and use my cats health as an excuse to not have people over yet I complain about being lonely. ARRRRGGGGGHHHH. I know I push people away and don't invite people in because I am afraid. Afraid of being hurt, afraid of people leaving AGAIN, afraid that I will fail like I have done so many times in the past.
I don't want to be like this. I want to be happy. But not happy in the world, happy in Christ. He gives me opportunities each and every day and I constantly fight him or turn away his gifts of love, support and encouragement.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the gifts that you give. Gifts of love, hope, encouragement and most importantly, your Son. Lord, help me to search you out and to be happy in you. Not in myself, not in what others say or do for me but in Your love only. Help me to stop turning away the things you want to give me and ignoring the lessons that you are trying to teach me. Lord, I do love you and thank you for it all.
In Jesus' Name, Amen
God Bless,
Karen
1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land.
4. apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.
5. obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.
So, wonder why I have placed that above description for all to read? Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this subject. Last night when I went to the gym I didn't want to be there, I had gone home, fed the cats, stopped and got a quick bite to eat, stopped at a clothing store and bought an outfit (which I couldn't afford but needed) so I felt guilty by the time I got to the gym. Then I had tried to call mom a couple of times and she didn't answer so I was afraid her phone didn't work again and headed over there. So, by the time I got back to the gym I was in a bad mood AGAIN. Craig asked me how I was doing and I told him I was grumpy.
It hit me then that I am around a lot of people throughout my day who are in a bad mood or who have a negative outlook on things and I let that affect me. I am so tired of being in a bad or grumpy mood all the time. I constantly wonder what is wrong with me that God hasn't brought someone into my life. Then I realize that having a constant negative and bad attitude makes me not want to be around certain people so who would want to be around me in that state of mind? I don't even want to be around me a lot of times.
I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends and love everyone of them but I go home lonely and sad everynight. I talk on the phone all day at work so I tell people I don't like to talk on the phone. If I go out to dinner I don't invite anyone because I want to read my book. I don't keep my house as clean as I should and use my cats health as an excuse to not have people over yet I complain about being lonely. ARRRRGGGGGHHHH. I know I push people away and don't invite people in because I am afraid. Afraid of being hurt, afraid of people leaving AGAIN, afraid that I will fail like I have done so many times in the past.
I don't want to be like this. I want to be happy. But not happy in the world, happy in Christ. He gives me opportunities each and every day and I constantly fight him or turn away his gifts of love, support and encouragement.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the gifts that you give. Gifts of love, hope, encouragement and most importantly, your Son. Lord, help me to search you out and to be happy in you. Not in myself, not in what others say or do for me but in Your love only. Help me to stop turning away the things you want to give me and ignoring the lessons that you are trying to teach me. Lord, I do love you and thank you for it all.
In Jesus' Name, Amen
God Bless,
Karen
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Out of the mouth of babes
Okay, so I was having lunch on Sunday with my family from church. We were celebrating Sue and Katie's birthday. I ended up sitting next to my 6 year old niece, Anna. We were talking about her mom turning 40 this coming Friday and I told Anna that I was older than her mom. She looks directly at me and says, "Then why aren't you married?" Her parents just laughed and I looked at her and explained that God hadn't brought someone into my life yet. She told me that I need to get married and be a mom.
I thought that was a pretty profound statement. I like the idea a lot but had to explain to her that it was in God's timing not mine. I did mumble that I would love for it to be sooner rather than later since I am getting older but...
So, anyway, I was pretty happy she thought I would be a good mom.
God bless,
Karen
I thought that was a pretty profound statement. I like the idea a lot but had to explain to her that it was in God's timing not mine. I did mumble that I would love for it to be sooner rather than later since I am getting older but...
So, anyway, I was pretty happy she thought I would be a good mom.
God bless,
Karen
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Galatians 3:1-5
Galatians 3:1-5 (New International Version)
Galatians 3
Faith or Observance of the Law 1You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
Okay. Are you wondering what this verse has to do with me? Well, even if you aren't I have to tell you. As most of you know I have been struggling for a long time. This journey started out easy and I have made it hard. God continues to give me opportunities to get heathly and I keep balking at Him. Well, last night I was walking around my house praying as I was getting ready for bed. I asked him to show me what I was doing to sabotage this step of obedience that he has me on. When I sat down and opened my Bible the passage that he sent to me was Gal 3:1-5.
Yes, this passage is talking about salavation and that you can't do anything to get to heaven you just have to have the faith that Christ was born and then died on the Cross to save me. But, if you read some of the words it is also talking to me about trying to do things my own way and not having the faith that I started this journey with. The faith that says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6 Especially verse 3.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for answering that pray immediately. I know that you have a plan. Even this morning you brought someone into my scope who was asking questions on how I have lost this weight so far. I pray that one meal at a time I can do your will and make choices that will glorify you and get me back started on the direction to be healthier so that I can do your work. In Jesus Name, Karen
Galatians 3
Faith or Observance of the Law 1You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? 3Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? 4Have you suffered so much for nothing—if it really was for nothing? 5Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?
Okay. Are you wondering what this verse has to do with me? Well, even if you aren't I have to tell you. As most of you know I have been struggling for a long time. This journey started out easy and I have made it hard. God continues to give me opportunities to get heathly and I keep balking at Him. Well, last night I was walking around my house praying as I was getting ready for bed. I asked him to show me what I was doing to sabotage this step of obedience that he has me on. When I sat down and opened my Bible the passage that he sent to me was Gal 3:1-5.
Yes, this passage is talking about salavation and that you can't do anything to get to heaven you just have to have the faith that Christ was born and then died on the Cross to save me. But, if you read some of the words it is also talking to me about trying to do things my own way and not having the faith that I started this journey with. The faith that says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6 Especially verse 3.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for answering that pray immediately. I know that you have a plan. Even this morning you brought someone into my scope who was asking questions on how I have lost this weight so far. I pray that one meal at a time I can do your will and make choices that will glorify you and get me back started on the direction to be healthier so that I can do your work. In Jesus Name, Karen
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
It's been awhile
Just wanted to touch base. I pray that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving? I had a nice one. Quiet the first part since it was just Mom and me and then very fun and noisy the second part since it was with my adopted family that have 14 grandkids and 12 additional adults plus me.
I didn't do too bad on my eating. I gained 2 pounds but I seem to do that just by breathing so... I did come down with an allergy cold though. Still fighting that. I worked out Friday and Saturday which was good but hard. When you struggle to breath normally from a cold adding a workout really pushes it. They were good and intense.
God is still working with me in a lot of areas. (I know, He never stops) but these seem to be areas that He has tried to get my attention on a lot. I was just thinking as I was coming in this morning that last year at this time I was excited to walk up the stairs instead of use the elevator. This year I am struggling with that. So, even though I am still struggling with this goofy breathing/cold I used the steps in the walkway and from the basement to the third floor.
These are just the little things I need to work on to bring me back to where I was at last year. God hasn't walked away from this journey, I have drifted some. Just need to get back in the right direction.
God Bless,
Karen
I didn't do too bad on my eating. I gained 2 pounds but I seem to do that just by breathing so... I did come down with an allergy cold though. Still fighting that. I worked out Friday and Saturday which was good but hard. When you struggle to breath normally from a cold adding a workout really pushes it. They were good and intense.
God is still working with me in a lot of areas. (I know, He never stops) but these seem to be areas that He has tried to get my attention on a lot. I was just thinking as I was coming in this morning that last year at this time I was excited to walk up the stairs instead of use the elevator. This year I am struggling with that. So, even though I am still struggling with this goofy breathing/cold I used the steps in the walkway and from the basement to the third floor.
These are just the little things I need to work on to bring me back to where I was at last year. God hasn't walked away from this journey, I have drifted some. Just need to get back in the right direction.
God Bless,
Karen
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