Well, it is Thanksgiving week again. I decided to look back at last years posts to try to remind me of where I was a year ago.
One of my biggest fears with this journey has been that I would fail or quit 1/2 way through. As most of you are reading you know that I have struggled a lot since July. I realized something last night though. I am the only one right now who feels that I will fail. God believes in me, the people at church believe in me, the people at work believe in me and my family believes in me. Why do I have to be the one who is sure I will fail? I guess I know my former self. I know where I have been and how I usually end up doing things. I usually end up giving up.
One of the reasons for this blog was to encourage others with my journey but the thing I need to do now is go back and see where my thoughts were when I was doing well. I can get there again. I know that God hasn't brought me this far for no reason. He has a plan and this struggle is a part of it. I just need to stop and listen to him and see what it is about.
I will do well, with his help. I know that I can make it through Thanksgiving without going overboard. If you want to pray that would be great though. I can use all the help I can get.
God bless,
Karen
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My television debut
It is funny. Last night was the Makeover segment on the local news. They were so nice!!! Some of the things that both Jacob Neal and the tv newscaster said really nice things. I was very happy with the turnout.
I am hoping that my friend can copy it and my commercial from the video tape to his dvr so that I can upload them both. If he can I will add it to here.
Anyway, most of the people I told about it forgot to watch and the ones that I didn't tell actually saw it. They want me to bring in the video tomorrow.
God bless,
Karen
P.S. I think Brandy is doing better. I am still not sure but I didn't leave her in the spare room today. I let her stay out since she ate most of her food. Poor baby is still not back to where she was.
I am hoping that my friend can copy it and my commercial from the video tape to his dvr so that I can upload them both. If he can I will add it to here.
Anyway, most of the people I told about it forgot to watch and the ones that I didn't tell actually saw it. They want me to bring in the video tomorrow.
God bless,
Karen
P.S. I think Brandy is doing better. I am still not sure but I didn't leave her in the spare room today. I let her stay out since she ate most of her food. Poor baby is still not back to where she was.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Pets
These last few days have been very hard on me. I have a beautiful cat named Brandy Marie. She is around 14 years old and was diagnosed with end stage Kidney Failure in February 2005. She was given 3 months to live. It is now November of 2008. She has been doing so well. Even Monday morning she was eating fine.
When I came home Monday night she didn't meet me at the door and then when she came down she didn't eat. She hasn't eaten since Monday morning at 7am. I have taken her to the vet two times. Her kidney functions were good and her heart and lungs sounded good. So, the vet gave me an appetite stimulant. If that doesn't work then I will have to put her to sleep on Saturday.
It has been breaking my heart. I knew that this time would come but it is still so hard. She is my baby!!!! I don't know if you have pets or if you understand how special they are to me but she is my baby and I will miss her if I have to put her down.
The good thing is that she nibbled today on her food. I have her closed in a spare room with all the amenities a cat would ever need. She should be fine in there. Food is out. I had to put her in there because her sister would eat the food if I didn't and I wouldn't know if Brandy or Brittany ate.
Anyway, I pray that I have a little more time with her but if I don't that God will make it clear that it is the time.
God Bless,
Karen
When I came home Monday night she didn't meet me at the door and then when she came down she didn't eat. She hasn't eaten since Monday morning at 7am. I have taken her to the vet two times. Her kidney functions were good and her heart and lungs sounded good. So, the vet gave me an appetite stimulant. If that doesn't work then I will have to put her to sleep on Saturday.
It has been breaking my heart. I knew that this time would come but it is still so hard. She is my baby!!!! I don't know if you have pets or if you understand how special they are to me but she is my baby and I will miss her if I have to put her down.
The good thing is that she nibbled today on her food. I have her closed in a spare room with all the amenities a cat would ever need. She should be fine in there. Food is out. I had to put her in there because her sister would eat the food if I didn't and I wouldn't know if Brandy or Brittany ate.
Anyway, I pray that I have a little more time with her but if I don't that God will make it clear that it is the time.
God Bless,
Karen
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
My afternoon at the spa
Well, the day at home didn't start well. Actually it started last night when I got home. My baby, Brandy, normally meets me at the door for her food with her sister, Brittany but last night she was not there. She did come down stairs but didn't eat anything at all. She has had end stage kidney failure since February 2005 and was only supposed to last 3 months. So, I figured it was time. I cried from the time I got home until I came home from the vet today. The vet thinks she has an infection and gave me an antibiotic and pain medicine. Then told me to give her extra liquid treatments because she was a little dehydrated. So, that is good news so far. (She still hasn't eaten and it is 7pm on Tuesday night but I am praying.)
Anyway, so I knew that the makeup artist would have her work cut out for her since I had cried for several hours. I arrived at 1:30pm and the camera man for the tv station came in a few minutes after. They put me in the lovely robes and had me sit in a chair and not smile so they could get my before picture. Then Michael colored my hair a dark brown and lightened my eyebrows. Then he cut my hair pretty short and styled it pretty funky. I don't think I will be able to duplicate it but... Then Phyllis took me in and waxed my eyebrows. Then she put a lot of makeup on me. It looked great though. She kept telling me how beautiful my eyes are and how long my eyelashes are.
Then I put my shirt back on, they found me a nice necklace and then Michael "puffed" my hair back into shape. Then the camera man had me sit in another chair and took an after shot of me. I had a big smile on my face. The good thing was that the salon people want me to come back and do it again when I make my goal weight. I thought that was pretty cool!!!
Then I went to the gym and everyone there thought it looked great. They all commented on my hair and a couple of the guys make really nice comments.
All in all it was a great time. I wish Brandy's health hadn't been hanging over my head but God has His reasons. The show will air on Monday sometime between 5pm and 6pm. Here is a picture.
God Bless,
Karen
Anyway, so I knew that the makeup artist would have her work cut out for her since I had cried for several hours. I arrived at 1:30pm and the camera man for the tv station came in a few minutes after. They put me in the lovely robes and had me sit in a chair and not smile so they could get my before picture. Then Michael colored my hair a dark brown and lightened my eyebrows. Then he cut my hair pretty short and styled it pretty funky. I don't think I will be able to duplicate it but... Then Phyllis took me in and waxed my eyebrows. Then she put a lot of makeup on me. It looked great though. She kept telling me how beautiful my eyes are and how long my eyelashes are.
Then I put my shirt back on, they found me a nice necklace and then Michael "puffed" my hair back into shape. Then the camera man had me sit in another chair and took an after shot of me. I had a big smile on my face. The good thing was that the salon people want me to come back and do it again when I make my goal weight. I thought that was pretty cool!!!
Then I went to the gym and everyone there thought it looked great. They all commented on my hair and a couple of the guys make really nice comments.
All in all it was a great time. I wish Brandy's health hadn't been hanging over my head but God has His reasons. The show will air on Monday sometime between 5pm and 6pm. Here is a picture.
God Bless,
Karen
Monday, November 10, 2008
GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Awhile ago I think I entered a local television station contest for a "Jacob's Monday Makeover" contest. I just got an email asking for my phone number. The lady called me from the television station and I won!!!! I get to go tomorrow and have a makeover done then they will film it and I will be on the television next Monday evening!!!!!
I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow night.
God Bless,
Karen
I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow night.
God Bless,
Karen
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Addition
I just read something in a dear friends blog about the election yesterday and how she was handling it. The one line in there that really got to me was about not allowing Satan to enjoy her anger and fear.
That is what I am doing by holding on to this negative/poor me attitude.
Dear Heavenly Father, I know you are in control. Lord, you are bigger than any struggle or fears that I may have. Thank you for Megan's reminder that giving into these attitudes just brings joy to Satan and destroys my testimony for You. Which is what he wants. But you are much bigger than him as well and I thank you that you sent your son to be my saviour. In Jesus name, Amen.
God Bless,
Karen
That is what I am doing by holding on to this negative/poor me attitude.
Dear Heavenly Father, I know you are in control. Lord, you are bigger than any struggle or fears that I may have. Thank you for Megan's reminder that giving into these attitudes just brings joy to Satan and destroys my testimony for You. Which is what he wants. But you are much bigger than him as well and I thank you that you sent your son to be my saviour. In Jesus name, Amen.
God Bless,
Karen
Posting about everything but emotions.
Okay, so I have been posting about a lot of things but my weight situation. I guess the reason is that it is the same ole, same ole. I made it to the 286 pound mark 2 weeks ago and have done nothing but go up from there. I haven't wanted to post because it seems that all of my posts about my weight have been negative and I don't want to keep going there.
A lot of the emotions stem from being a woman. I do have an appointment in December with my doctor and I will be talking to her then to see if there is anything that can help. But, I am also using that as an excuse to just be negative and not try. The old patterns are continually rearing their ugly heads more each day. I am using food as my comfort and escape. There are again, so many stresses in my life right now and even though I need to turn them over to God I am struggling with how to do it. AGAIN. Things again feel out of control. I am burned out on working 2 jobs, I have no money, my family is still not talking and there are a lot of medical problems with them too. One of the things that the Bible says is that you should give your ties to the church first and then God will supply the other things you need. I am so far behind that if I give money to church then I will be even further behind on my other bills because I am trying to play catch up. I want to be obedient but...
Well, that is kind of where I am at right now. Sorry to once again make this a negative post. I am confident that He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I just need to continue to focus on that in my heart and not just in my head.
God Bless,
Karen
A lot of the emotions stem from being a woman. I do have an appointment in December with my doctor and I will be talking to her then to see if there is anything that can help. But, I am also using that as an excuse to just be negative and not try. The old patterns are continually rearing their ugly heads more each day. I am using food as my comfort and escape. There are again, so many stresses in my life right now and even though I need to turn them over to God I am struggling with how to do it. AGAIN. Things again feel out of control. I am burned out on working 2 jobs, I have no money, my family is still not talking and there are a lot of medical problems with them too. One of the things that the Bible says is that you should give your ties to the church first and then God will supply the other things you need. I am so far behind that if I give money to church then I will be even further behind on my other bills because I am trying to play catch up. I want to be obedient but...
Well, that is kind of where I am at right now. Sorry to once again make this a negative post. I am confident that He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I just need to continue to focus on that in my heart and not just in my head.
God Bless,
Karen
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A New Era
Well, I will admit that I do not like politics. I try to avoid them as much as possible. But I felt that I should document my feelings on the new era that the United States is getting ready to experience.
Last night the country elected it's first African American President. Now, the only reason I write it that way is because it is history. No matter how you look at it. And I will tell you that I did not vote for him not because of his race or anything else. If there had been a candidate that I believed based his/her beliefs on God's word then it wouldn't matter to me what race, color, or gender. I did not vote for him because there are too many questions about the people he associates with, his experience and especially his biblical beliefs. He is pro-abortion and pro-same sex marriage among other things. Now, I know that these topics are touchy and I am not writing this to offend anyone but the bible is clear on these issues and therefore I have to base my vote on that.
The other thing that scares me is as I was walking upstairs from taking the mail down I overheard the newscaster mention that he had received an email from someone in Iraq and that the Taliban is excited because now they can negotiate with the United States. How scary is that? That is just one example.
There are so many other reasons but I just listed a few. I know that God is in control and I know that there will be some people who will read this and not be happy with the post but as a Christian I feel the need to document about the changes in our country. And no matter what, this is our country. I love America, I love the freedom's that I receive and I love the fact that I have a choice. Sometimes the end result is not what I wanted but I know that somehow this next chapter can somehow end good and that God will be glorified. One of the ways is the way, we as Christians, handle our words, our actions and our witness.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the freedoms we have to choose. Though the election didn't turn out how the majority of the Christian population wanted we know that you are in control. Please be with Mr. Obama, guide him in his decisions and help him to come to know you as his personal saviour. Lord, please be with America. This country was founded on Christian principles and I pray that we would come back to those. Again, thank you for your hand in all of this. Amen
God Bless,
Karen
P.S. I guess the Redskins theory was accurate. The stat is 18-18 now.
Last night the country elected it's first African American President. Now, the only reason I write it that way is because it is history. No matter how you look at it. And I will tell you that I did not vote for him not because of his race or anything else. If there had been a candidate that I believed based his/her beliefs on God's word then it wouldn't matter to me what race, color, or gender. I did not vote for him because there are too many questions about the people he associates with, his experience and especially his biblical beliefs. He is pro-abortion and pro-same sex marriage among other things. Now, I know that these topics are touchy and I am not writing this to offend anyone but the bible is clear on these issues and therefore I have to base my vote on that.
The other thing that scares me is as I was walking upstairs from taking the mail down I overheard the newscaster mention that he had received an email from someone in Iraq and that the Taliban is excited because now they can negotiate with the United States. How scary is that? That is just one example.
There are so many other reasons but I just listed a few. I know that God is in control and I know that there will be some people who will read this and not be happy with the post but as a Christian I feel the need to document about the changes in our country. And no matter what, this is our country. I love America, I love the freedom's that I receive and I love the fact that I have a choice. Sometimes the end result is not what I wanted but I know that somehow this next chapter can somehow end good and that God will be glorified. One of the ways is the way, we as Christians, handle our words, our actions and our witness.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the freedoms we have to choose. Though the election didn't turn out how the majority of the Christian population wanted we know that you are in control. Please be with Mr. Obama, guide him in his decisions and help him to come to know you as his personal saviour. Lord, please be with America. This country was founded on Christian principles and I pray that we would come back to those. Again, thank you for your hand in all of this. Amen
God Bless,
Karen
P.S. I guess the Redskins theory was accurate. The stat is 18-18 now.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Voting and theories
Okay, I was up at 6:25am and out of the house by 6:50am this morning to vote. I wanted to be there by 7am. When I arrived they had split the check-in lines from A-K and L-Z. Fortunately, my name is still in the L's so I got the shorter line. I was in and out by 7:55am. The people in the A-K line were waiting an extra 1/2 hour.
So, do your duty and get out and vote. It may take awhile but this will be an opportunity that God is giving you to meet your neighbors and show Him through how you handle waiting in long lines.
Now onto theories. A friend told me yesterday that if it was sunny on election day then the Republican's win and if it was raining the Democrats win. Well, it is sunny today. But... During the Pittsburgh Steelers/Washington Redskins game last night the announcers stated that if the Redskins win their final home game before the election then Republicans win and if they lose then the Democrats win. Guess what? They lost. (I tried really hard to root against my Steelers but just couldn't do it). GO STEELERS.
So, we will see which theory works. Actually, since God is in control of this entire thing it doesn't matter which theory "wins" he has it all planned out.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the right and duty to vote. Thank you for the freedoms and responsibility to make our voices heard. We ask that you will be with this election day. That you will keep everyone safe and help those who are standing in long lines to be calm and to establish friendships no matter what direction they are voting. Even right now, help someone who is voting based on your word to be a strong influence in a non-believers life. Amen.
God Bless,
Karen
So, do your duty and get out and vote. It may take awhile but this will be an opportunity that God is giving you to meet your neighbors and show Him through how you handle waiting in long lines.
Now onto theories. A friend told me yesterday that if it was sunny on election day then the Republican's win and if it was raining the Democrats win. Well, it is sunny today. But... During the Pittsburgh Steelers/Washington Redskins game last night the announcers stated that if the Redskins win their final home game before the election then Republicans win and if they lose then the Democrats win. Guess what? They lost. (I tried really hard to root against my Steelers but just couldn't do it). GO STEELERS.
So, we will see which theory works. Actually, since God is in control of this entire thing it doesn't matter which theory "wins" he has it all planned out.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the right and duty to vote. Thank you for the freedoms and responsibility to make our voices heard. We ask that you will be with this election day. That you will keep everyone safe and help those who are standing in long lines to be calm and to establish friendships no matter what direction they are voting. Even right now, help someone who is voting based on your word to be a strong influence in a non-believers life. Amen.
God Bless,
Karen
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