Get my act together

Okay. I went to the gym today and knew that I needed to work on getting my act together. Little did I know that it is worse than I thought. I weighed in to see where I was so I would have a "starting" point again. I hit the 300 pound mark again. Yes, you are reading right. I am VERY DISAPPOINTED!!!! That doesn't mean that I am stopping. I have done pretty well today and will go back to the one meal at a time. That is all I can do on my end. I need to really take time to pray about all of this and turn it over to God again. I have fought Him and used the excuse that it was the holidays so I could be bad. Well, the holidays are over. No more excuses.

Can I ask two favors of you though? Can you first and foremost pray for this situation? I know that you have been and I am so thankful for that but I really need it more than ever right now. Mentally, today, I am ready to tackle this again with God's help. Secondly, please don't give me any excuses for my eating. What I need is people telling me the truth. I know that people struggle. There is no way that we can't, we are human but that doesn't give me an excuse to eat poorly all the time. Yes, occasionally but when I complain or feel mad about my choices everyone tells me that you have to "cheat" every once in awhile, well, unfortunatly I am getting that all the time. My "every once in awhile" is turning out to be WAY TO FREQUENTLY. I know that everyone is trying to be encouraging and I am so thankful for all of that but knowing my personality, I know that is not the best thing. PLEASE DON'T STOP ENCOURAGING. But don't give me an excuse that I can use to eat poorly.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for the special people you have brought into my life. It has been so amazing and I know that when they tell me something about every one making mistakes and needing to "cheat" that they are trying to encourage and help me not feel bad about myself but you know my heart and my head and you know that I will use that as an excuse to continue to "cheat" and do it even more. Lord, thank you for taking me back up in weight so that I can see what my choices are doing. You have brought me too far for me to stop now and I know that with your help I can continue this journey you have me on. You have something special planned and for that I am so excited. Please help me to do this journy for Your honor and glory and to be healthy.
In Jesus' Name,
Karen