Potential Surgery

Okay, so I have posted that I have a torn Achilles Tendon. I spoke with my doctor's office this week and even though it is not official the nurse was pretty sure that I would have surgery and that I will be off 3 MONTHS!!!!! at a minimum. 2 of those months I would be completely off my foot. This is not a good thing.

First of all I only have enough time, starting March 14th, to cover 2 months, 1 week and 1 day. That means I will not take any other days off between now and March 14th of 2011. Also, what will I do about money. This estimate is a minimum. I plan on doing everything the doctor tells me but you never know.

I know that I am borrowing trouble by worrying about it now. Christ says in Matthew 6:27 (New International Version) "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" But not worrying is hard for me to do.

The other concern I have is that I don't want to have to rely on anyone to help take care of me. After spending so much time seeing mom rely on everyone else to solve her problems and take care of her I am the opposite. I don't want to have to have anyone help me. I have also been let down in the past by the people that I was supposed to be able to rely on and so even though so many of my friends have volunteered to be there for me and help I am fearful that they will not come through. That is not fair to them. I know this in my mind but still struggle with it. This is something that the Lord and I have to work on these next two months leading up to the potential surgery. It is a HUGE stumbling block for me. I know this but again struggle with not having these feelings.

Finally I need to lose as much weight as I can between now and March 15th. When I started my weight loss journey I lost 36 pounds in the same time period. I was not doing much exercising then so if I can keep up with my upper body and core exercises and go back to eating the way I was back then I will be able to do the same or better. So far I have been doing okay. Not 100% but better than I have been. Struggling more this time but...

So, I covet your prayers during this time. If you are one of the many who have offered to help in any way you can please know that I will take you up on it. I just have to check my insecurity and pride at the door. I have a hard time trusting and it has nothing to do with any of you. I love you and appreciate all you do.

God Bless,
Karen