May 10, 2018. What significance does that day have? Well, Anna has her spring band concert that night. That is 76 days from the day I am writing this post.
Okay, so what does that matter? Well, last night I went to Anna's winter band concert and couldn't fit in the chair. I sat out in the cafeteria for the first 3 bands then squished myself partially into a chair in the auditorium for her 3 songs and then left. By the time her songs were finished my right foot and leg were asleep and my upper legs were sore. Not only was this painful but it was humiliating!!!
I weighed myself on Wednesday morning for my program that I am on (not really) and weighed 451.2 pounds. When I went home last night I weighed 461.3. I gained 10 pounds in one day. I am retaining a lot of water right now and am worried about that but still, no matter what the cause, I am still grotesquely obese. Something has to change.
So, for my first goal I have 76 days to safely lose enough weight to fit better in the Grove City High School Auditorium chair. Will I fit perfect? Nope. But I will be able to sit in the chair and enjoy the concert.
What does this entail? First, making better choices for my meals. I eat out lunch and dinner every day unless the Baltzers have taken pity on me and invite me over for dinner :) THIS HAS TO STOP (not the Baltzer's dinner invites but the eating out). There is no reason that I can not purchase healthy food items to bring to lunch every day. We have a microwave to cook food in, we have an instahot water system, we have a small fridge to keep things in. No excuse.
Second, I sit at home almost every night playing computer games and watching tv. I can give up 1/2 hour of computer time to add some exercise. Yes I hurt but that does not mean I can't use the bands that I received from RealAppeal and do some exercises while I sit. I can still watch tv while doing these things. I can also still walk my 2 laps around the warehouse DAILY - no excuses.
Third, I can stop focusing on me. I can do these things to make a difference but I need to also quit feeling sorry for myself. I truly believe that God didn't create me to stay this way. As I have mentioned in a previous post I don't know what is in store for me. All I know is that my internal health is doing very well. I have perfect cholesterol, blood pressure and everything else. I have horrible knees but you would too if you carried so much extra weight for 50 years and were clumsy in your earlier days.
76 days. With God's help I can fit in that chair. I can take this first step to being the person He wants me to be. Not the failure I still struggle with seeing.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for creating days. Thank you for knowing that even when we feel our worst you know just what encouragement we need. Thank you for, once again, not giving up on me. I can't say how these next 76 days are going to go but I do know that if I truly let you be in charge I will fit in that chair. You know my heart. You know every detail about me. Help me to find the good that you created in me. Not in a selfish or egotistical way but in a way that will glorify You. A way that will show others that when they hit their lowest point and highest weight that is where You get to begin.
Thank you for Your love.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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