Friday, February 6, 2009

Dreams and Goals

So I just read a story about a competition with some frogs who where trying to race to the top of a really high tower. As they were climbing everyone that was watching was kept yelling that there was no way they could make it and that it was way to high. As the competition continued the frogs continued to fall off the tower. Finally, only one frog kept going and made it all the way to the top. Everyone was stunned. They asked him how he did it and found out that he was deaf so he never heard the doubters. This story encourages you to become “deaf” to the doubters and continue on to your goals and dreams. (By the way, I am the doubter in this story!!! Not you all - you believe in me)

That story, which I have read before, really makes me think about my goals and dreams. On Facebook we did this 25 random things about yourself. It took the help of friends to come up with 25 things because my entire life I only look at the negative about myself. Usually, when I make a goal the opposite happens. If I say I will not eat fast food for an entire week I end up eating there every day. If I say I need to get to a certain weight by a specific date, I don’t even come close and usually end up not losing anything or gaining. I am afraid to make goals.

As far as my dreams go I have kind of lost those as well. I look at my age getting higher and my dream of a husband and children doesn’t seem to be in my future. I know that God is in control and if He wants me to have a husband and children then he will bring that into my life but so far… Also, part of the dream was to actually carry that child and I am getting older by the day.

I also love my company I work for but I do not like all the paperwork and things I have to do. But, I don’t know what my “dream job” would be. I like so many things but don’t know what I could do with them.

I also want to be financially stable. If I want to go to a movie or buy a pair of shoes that I need I don’t want to have to feel guilty. But, because I am very poor at sticking to my budget I don’t even do what God asks me with His money.

Yes, this post sounds very negative. Sorry. It is really hard when you have grown up being negative. I am trying to look at it through God’s word but because I have been struggling again for the last several months I just continue to get more discouraged.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for working in my heart. I see you doing things that try to get my attention every single day and yet I continue to fight you on it all. Yet, you haven’t given up on me. Thank you so much for that. Please help me to create some goals and dreams that you want for me and then trust you to help me reach those. Lord, I thank you for the people in my life who encourage me every day even when I am sure they feel like a broken record. Help me to “empty me so that I can be filled with you”. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God Bless,

Karen

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